Librarian's Rant

Amazon.com that is. I was looking up this book, as it had been recommended to me for a light read, and I noticed the "Inside the Book" section of the page, which had the following links:

Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
mysterious articles, betting book, carriage accident
Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Professor Randolph, Miss Bingley, Miss Kendall, Caroline Bingley, Lawrence Kendall, Frederick Parrish, Lord Chatfield, Mont Joyau, New Orleans, Juliet Kendall, Bow Street, Lady Catherine, Charles Bingley, British Museum, French Quarter, Drury Lane, Louisa Hurst, Good Lord, Haye Park, Grosvenor Street

What an odd feature! And there was also a Concordance, which gave me the 100 most frequently used words in the book and Text Stats, which included readability indexes.

Fascinating marketing tool.

I'm middle-aged. Well, at least according to some age bracket thingy I had to check today when filling out a form. Bah. Usually I like my birthdays, but this one...not so much.

Shelby Foote, Civil War historian, had just the sexiest Southern voice I've ever heard. And a real passion for this country's history. From CNN.com:

Foote, a Mississippi native and longtime Memphis resident, wrote six novels but is best remembered for his three-volume, 3,000-page history of the Civil War and his appearance on the PBS series "The Civil War."

He worked on the book for 20 years, using a flowing, narrative style that enabled readers to enjoy it like a historical novel.

"I can't conceive of writing it any other way," Foote once said. "Narrative history is the kind that comes closest to telling the truth. You can never get to the truth, but that's your goal."

James Quinn from LU just sent this along: Think Blue Dems.

Neat idea, though I hope it doesn't become instantly passe, as the ribbons have.

Thanks to Kathleen S. for the ribbons parody link.

UPDATE: A comment someone made on LU reminded me of an incident from last week: I was taking my car through the carwash at my local BP. As I drove in, I noticed on the water heater to the right of the entrance several of those annoying magnetic 'ribbons' people put on their gas-guzzling SUV's. I realized that they had come off in the wash.

I thought, what a perfect metaphor for the 'convenient patriotism' of the last few years.

This last weekend was ALA. I was crazed, busy, hot, tired, occasionally overfed and rarely impressed. As always, the best part of the experience was my friends and acquaintances, old and new, who share not only my profession, but also my skewed outlook on life and a penchant for geeky fun. Thanks, folks! A great time, indeed. And don't forget, I have pictures of y'all drunk, so...

I just had my annual review. Good, overall, which I wasn't entirely expecting (it's been a weird year). At the end, as a wrap up, my boss mentions that she appreciates and puts to use my 'knowledge, expertise and charm'. Charm! Dude. Nice of you to notice

A Biblical Curse Generator. Some good ones:

May you have more mother-in-laws than King Solomon, thou wayward winebibber!

I hope you will be smitten with all-over boils, O thou irritating inhabitant of Gath!

And my fav:
Take heed, O thou sad Pharisee, for you will be as welcome as a fart in the queen's bedchamber!

Thanks, Akeisha

The big news in the library world is the Sirsi-Dynix merger. I wish them the best, but I have my reservations. We run Dynix Horizon, and it does NOT rock my world.

Best case: Sirsi's reasonably good end-user interfaces and admin functions allied with Dynix power and database capabilities.

Worst case: other way around...

We'll see.

As a follow-up to a previous post about the Bob Jones University dress code, Laurince also sent me the following: Liberty (?) University Student Code of Conduct schedule of 'Reprimands and Consequences'.

12 Reprimands + $50 Fine:

• Attendance at, possession or viewing of, an "R," "NC-17" or "X"-rated movie
  
• Deception
  
• Entering the residence hallway of the opposite sex or allowing the same
  
• Entering the space above ceiling tiles [ed. note: do they have a lot of trouble with this there??]
  
• Participation in an unauthorized petition or demonstration
  
• Possession and/or viewing of sexually explicit material
  
• Students of the opposite sex visiting alone at an off-campus residence

The things they equate interest me--these were all listed under the highest penalty section:

• Abortion
  
• Academic dishonesty
  
• Immorality
  
• Involvement with witchcraft, séances or other satanic or demonic activity

Cuz...

Sunday morning at my church, my purse was stolen. Taken from 6 feet away from me, while I was in a meeting. It was nowhere to be found, it contained most of my life and rather a lot of my cash (I'd gotten my cash out for ALA early, cuz I was already going to be busy all week until I leave), my brand new cell phone (less than 48 hrs old, which I'd spent 3 hours programming the night before), my Spongebob checkbook cover and checks (dude!), and the little case my late grandmother gave me, in which I've kept my makeup for 10 years. All gone. No trace.

Why am I lucky? Cuz through all the tears and screaming (me), some very nice women at the church searched the building and grounds, the elderly gentleman I'd been meeting with earlier gave me $40 so I'd have some cash (paying him back today), another friend let me use her cell phone to call my friend and houseguest Michael, whom I was supposed to meet for lunch. He instead brought me home some lunch and entertained my cat while I called a half dozen banks and my cell phone company. Later, a bunch of friends gave me wine and sympathy at their house, and I ran into some folks I'd been wanting to see, who I hadn't expected. One of them is waiting for a kidney, so I was glad to see him up and around. And as a topper, my friend Judy met me at the church at 9:15 at night to search through garbage to see if we could find my purse. I mean, seriously, who has friends who will pick through garbage?!

I am blessed. Really, I do get that. I am thankful. I'm also pissed, scared, betrayed and shaky. I'm competent and did everything I was supposed to do, so in that way, I made my own luck.

It all balances. They took the photo of my dearly departed Molly-cat, but I have another. They took my Borders gift card, with which I was going to buy myself a birthday present tomorrow. And rather a lot of cash, with which I was going to buy myself cocktails and lunch in Chicago this weekend. I have a paycheck coming, so I'll cope. They also took a good chunk of my remaining faith in humanity as a whole (my friends being a last, deeply cherished exception). That's going to be harder to replace.

So. Now I just have to try to reconstruct my life in these United States and get through the next few days. Then there shall be friends and merriment.

I can only imagine what this experience would have been like for someone who is ignorant, friendless and/or alone. A horrible thought.

An online friend sent me the following email, which got me thinking:

Louise,

This is going to sound weird, but I believe the best thing you can do in this world is make a difference in a person's life (for the better of course ; ). With all the people coming to your aid, you must have made a big difference in their lives.

A very sweet thing for her to say, and I certainly hope it's true of me.

That aside, however, I bring it up because it got me wondering how we touch other people's lives, for better or worse, each day. Out of the blue yesterday, a patron I've helped maybe once or twice comes up to me, after watching me all day, and says "people probably don't bother to tell you this, but I wanted to let you know that you're a very nice person and do your job well." Wha?? I was speechless for several moments. I thanked him for the kind words, and we talked about how rarely we make a point of telling people when they've done a good job. Now, I make a point of it fairly often, perhaps because I've worked in public service for a long time and I know how it can make my day or week.

So go, tell the lady at the post office that it was nice of her to put extra tape on your box. Tell the nice lady at the McDonald's drive thru that you appreciate that she gave you extra napkins, without having to ask, once she saw you had a soccer team in the back of your minivan. Thank the person who held the door open for you at the store, when you had your hands full. Better yet, be that person. You never know what kind of day they've had.

Grapefruit May Make Women Seem Younger

Institute director Alan Hirsch said he smeared several middle-aged woman with broccoli, banana, spearmint leaves, and lavender but none of those scents made a difference to the men.

Thanks, Akeisha.

Happy Bloomsday, everyone!

Have a pint and a sausage.

Remember those annoying 'save NPR/PBS' petitions we've all gotten from well-meaning friends via email? They weren't real--well not exactly. But now they are very much for real--and immediate. Or rather, this one is. From MoveOn (and others).

There have been a lot of arguments about the place of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, and there are some valid concerns about how it spends its funding. However, as I said in my petition email: the airwaves are lent to broadcasters at the pleasure of the public, with the understanding that they are to use them, in part, for public information and education. We've not held them to this standard since the News divisions came under the control of the Entertainment divisions at every major network. PBS and NPR and public broadcasting as a whole are the last bastions of real reporting and real public education. Where else will we go for the truth? The BBC?

Okay, so were were having a discussion about whether it was actually illegal to drive while barefoot in all 50 states. See, I was told when I was young that it was illegal, but my brother and I have both driven barefoot for years (with our sandals handy to slip back on in case we were pulled over, of course). It's possible it was illegal at one time. The truth is, if I don't drive barefoot for at least part of a long drive, my feet cramp up, which I think is far more dangerous than my bare feet on the pedals. So someone (Laura C.) found this examination from the AFU Urban Legend archive.

Hah! I'm legal!

Research is good.

More fun from The Onion.

I don't know why you want to come off all smart and well-read, anyway. Sure, with your head full of facts, you may seem to have the world at your feet, but if you keep it up, you'll soon have no one to share it with. Smart people are the loneliest people in the world. They don't have anyone to talk to except other smart people, and who wants to join a conversation between two smart people? No one I know.

So, if you want to keep the friends you have and maybe even make some new ones, try being a little less of a know-it-all and a little more of a know-it-some. I mean, would it really kill you to think the capital of Illinois is Chicago? It could only help. Trust me.

Thanks, Amym