Why I know that some people are still at Web 0.54

We're having a weird problem related to our time/print management software (Comprise's SAM, for our sins). Basically when patrons open Internet Explorer, they don't see the address bar and can't pull it up (toolbars locked). Anyhoo... this is freaking out patrons way more than I would ever have expected. Here are some of my favorite freak out lines:

"The Internet is down!" or (a favorite) "The Internet is BROKEN!" This freaks US out until we realize that there are several dozen people happily surfing.

"All I get is a library page. I never got that before! What did you do?!" For the record, they got our home page EVERY TIME they sat at one of our computers for the last 10 years. They just didn't notice it on their way to Yahoo! and Hotmail. Yeah, that makes my hours and hours and hours of work on the website sooooo satisfying!

And my favorite, which just happened today:

"How do I get out to the REAL Internet?" Dude! Our website is on the InterTubes, I promise!

I am so sick of this problem.